What She Looks Like

Who is she? She is my wife… We had a singles ministry meeting on last Monday and it got me thinking about a few things… Mainly: Do I know what I’m looking for? If I came across her tomorrow, would I even know it? They talked about “what do you look at when you look at a woman?” and it got me thinking about the characteristics I’m looking for… not the physical.

The first thing would of course be that she’s a woman of God who is growing spiritually and, of course, that she tithes. She needs to have a personal quiet time and prayer life. She needs to have a certain level of sensitivity to the Holy Spirit and be able to discern situations and people.

I’d love for her to serve in ministry because that shows me that she’s not coming to church just to receive. She also has the desire to use the gifts that God’s given her to give as well. It shows that she has a level of consistency, and that’s important to me. I can’t have her doing one thing one day and then another thing the next. I understand that sometimes we do things we don’t want to do (Lord knows I do) but there has to be a marked difference and desire to want to do different. There is something fundamentally wrong when you know to do better but ignore it.

It’s important to me that she has great integrity and modesty. I’m not saying she has to be a prude… I’m saying that she needs to know what’s appropriate when. She should be confident in who and whose she is regardless of what everything else says.

Loyalty and commitment are very important to me. I need to know that she’s with me no matter what happens in life. Knowing that she’s there consistently and supports me would give me the courage to do things that I really want to do.

I also place a lot of value on the fact that she can feel comfortable in a variety of surroundings. Wherever we go or whatever we’re doing, I can’t be concerned with whether or not she’s going to fit in. I need to know that she knows how to roll with the punches and be spontaneous. And I love women that have an opinion. Too much of one is a bad thing, but let’s face it, everything requires balance.

As I think about all these things, they’re just not enough. I know many women whom I’m friends with that fulfill all of these. But there has to be chemistry, a connection, an attraction as well. Without that, the relationship will never turn romantic… it’ll be friendship and nothing more.

You know honestly, I don’t expect anything of her that I myself don’t do… And by my doing these things first, I know it’s something attainable. That’s all it comes down to in my opinion.