Sermons, Sex, and Singles

Last week I had an opportunity to do a guest blog for the AJC’s dating blog entitled “Misadventures in Dating” I wanted to post the blog here, but you can also read the original one on their site. So here it is!

Sermons, Sex, and Singles

Is dating in the church a good idea?

Churches are a great place to meet people. They’re ready-made social environments with events, parties, and plenty of opportunities to hang out with others. There are tons of attractive men and women in church and for the majority, they’re well grounded and know what they want. Seems like a great idea right?

I believe it depends on your approach. Are you coming to church for the sole purpose of chasing some tail, looking for a fling? Are you so obsessed with finding “the one” you can’t think about anything else? Or are you coming to church to fellowship with other believers and deepen your faith?

The goal of the church shouldn’t be to find you a spouse. It should be to grow deeper in your relationship with Christ. If someone special comes along while doing so, great, but don’t lose focus of what’s important.

Don’t be the church “playa” who tries to holler at every attractive person who steps through the door. Take time to develop friendships; you don’t date every person at the church. It doesn’t always take a date to find out if there’s relationship potential.

If you feel like there is potential, be honest about it. Make sure your expectations are spoken, realistic, and agreed upon. The worst thing you can do is make assumptions about how they are viewing the relationship; it’s a set-up for a misunderstanding and an awkward situation. If you’re not on the same page, let it go. Don’t proph-a-lie, telling people, “God told me you were my spouse.”

When you date someone in the church, understand they have different goals. Most of the time, they’re not looking for sex; they’re trying to follow God’s design of remaining abstinent until marriage. They’re looking for a partnership: an authentic, genuine attraction to someone of quality and substance. Your character & integrity are more important than your game and, dare I say, your swagger.