Your Guide to Dating Christians

So you’ve heard that one of the best places to find a nice guy or girl for you to spend the rest of your life with is in the church, huh? Or perhaps you’ve heard that’s where you find the biggest freaks. Either way, you want to date a Christian, but you’re just not sure how to go about it. After all, Christian culture can be a bit strange sometimes. But you’re right to think that most Christians are great people. They’re very accepting, welcoming, and open to exploring new things. For the most part, they’re good people to be in a relationship with, given that you don’t mind adhering to a few (mostly unspoken) “rules.” In order to help you out, I’ve listed a few of those rules and the best ways to navigate them. Enjoy.

Act saved. Being a Christian is all about maintaining appearances. Try not to yell at people in public or listen to any non-worship music (when other people are around) or dress to scantily because people won’t think that you know Jesus. Please make sure you remember your manners. And the more ways you can find to use Scripture in your daily life, the better. read more

Sometimes Just Have To Let Him Orchestrate

God is such an amazing orchestrator sometimes — actually, all the time. We tend to forget this until His plan manifests. And today was one of those days.

Tired, real tired, and heading home from school, I got on the wrong train. I was still heading the right direction, but the lines split at a certain point and I was on the wrong line. Of course, I didn’t figure this out until after the split, so I wasted a good 15 minutes of my time. Normally I wouldn’t be too upset about this (after all, I’m half embarrassed to say that this isn’t the first time it’s happened) but I had somewhere to be. Somewhere I was already late getting to. So, I did the only thing I could do; I got off at the next stop and hopped on the southbound train back to Lindbergh so I could catch the right train.

While I’m sitting on the bench at the Lindbergh station, the next northbound train arrives. It’s not mine. I have to wait longer. The train arrives, doors open, and, being the nosy, people watcher I am, I watch as the people file off the train. Wait. A face I know. I haven’t seen Kelly in quite a while. Because of my hair, I look a bit different than I did last time we chatted. She almost didn’t recognize me. read more

My Sister and I: The Twitter Story

My sister and I a few years back

I don’t believe I’ve ever really shared much about my sister, Catherine, with you. She is perhaps closer to my heart than anyone else on this planet. After watching the newest episode of Law & Order: SVU, which featured a woman who was bound to a wheelchair, which my sister is, I couldn’t help but feel this overwhelming urge to share a little bit of our story on Twitter. So I did just that. Below are the tweets. You’ll have to scroll to the bottom and read up for the story to make sense.

(PS: If you’re the crying type, you may want to go ahead and grab some tissues.) read more

You Put Your Own Ring On It?

When I see a woman for the first time, there are three things that I immediately look at: her face, her shoes, and her left ring finger — in that order. Overall physique and body type is important, but, I’ll get to that as I move from her face to her shoes and over to her ring finger. Why the ring finger? There’s no use thinking about anything further if her finger is occupied with a wedding (or even engagement) ring, is there?

Lately I’ve noticed that many women wear other types of rings on their left ring finger — the finger where people usually wear a wedding band. However, these rings don’t signify any commitment to another person, something a wedding/engagement ring does, and, in fact, can serve to confuse interested single men.

I have seen this technique used to one’s advantage, though. I have a good female friend who is single and travels about three weeks out of any given month. She’s open to dating, but it’s certainly not her top priority. In order to keep away random guys who try to approach her, — because, believe me, they do (and I can’t blame them) — she wears an engagement ring. It’s a nice one too. Of course, it’s not real, but a man who would approach her in the airport wouldn’t notice — especially since most men don’t have good sense in jewelry and it’s authenticity. read more

Chemistry vs Compatibility — Vlog

In any relationship, whether romantic or platonic, chemistry plays a role. It can make a “bad” relationship seem better than it is, and an already good relationship seem euphoric. But how important is it really? How does it compare to compatibility? Ultimately where we rank chemistry and compatibility are personal choices, but either way, their importance is inescapable.

Check out some more of my thoughts in the video below and let me know where you fall?

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvvHna2QQQs]

[Make sure you follow me on Twitter and connect with me on Facebook.]

Would You Adopt A Child Of Another Race?

Adoption is not something to be entered into haphazardly. One must consider all the possible outcomes, occurrences, and obstacles that may arise. This is even more true when a family (or individual) is considering a transracial adoption (when the race of the adopted child is different from that of one or both adoptive parents).

This is not a new issue in the United States. Transracial adoptions nearly stopped for 20 years, from the early 70s to the 90s, when they were condemned as “cultural genocide” by the National Black Social Workers Association (NBSWA). In 1994, after the Metzenbaum Multiethnic Placement Act (which banned any agency receiving federal funds from interfering with adoptions based on race or nationality) was passed, we saw a significant rise in these adoptions. This act, as well as the Interethnic Adoption Provisions amendment, were designed to eliminate racial discriminations within the adoption system. (1) read more

Steps to Getting Along

This morning, at the elementary school where I volunteer, I was in a 4th grader classroom and noticed a chart on the wall that read “Steps to Getting Along.” It was so simple, but plenty of people who are much older don’t play by these rules.

Since we could all use a refresher course, here are the guidelines:

1) Hands are for helping, not hurting.
2) Talk about you feelings; ask for help.
3) Calm down. Count to 10
4) Do something fun.
5) Think of a good way to end the problem.

Do NOT: Call name. Blame others. Hit. Make excuses. Threaten. Boss around.

Seems simple enough, doesn’t it?
Stuart McDonald

Can We Please Be On Time?

There’s an old saying that goes, “If you are five minutes early, you’re on time. If you’re on time, you’re late. If you’re late, then you’ve got a lot of explaining to do.” I couldn’t agree more.

Perhaps one of my biggest pet peeves — the thing that consistently gets on my nerves more than anything else — is tardiness. Being late, consistently. I just can’t stand it. It’s tacky. I hate when I’m late and I can’t stand it when others are late.

I’m not talking about when you’re running behind schedule because of unforeseen traffic or an emergency (a real one; not, “I was checking my Facebook”). I’m talking about people who are consistently, day after day, week after week, about 20, 30 (or more) minutes late. You know you’ve got a few of those people in your life. If you don’t, chances are good that you are that person. Sometimes they’re so consistently delayed that you tell them the 8:30pm movie starts at 8:00pm just to make sure they get there “on time.” read more

Are Biracial People Black? My Thought on Paula Patton's Comment

Paula Patton, during an interview in the March issue of Women’s Health Magazine, said the following

“I find [the term biracial] offensive. It’s a way for people to separate themselves from African Americans… a way of saying ‘I’m better than that.’ I’m black because that’s the way the world sees me. People aren’t calling Barack Obama biracial. Most people think there’s a black president.”

Which terms Patton is offended by and approves of isn’t really important (I’d be more offended by words like mongrel, mutt, or half-breed instead of biracial, but that’s a personal preference). Instead, what is important ins that she points out that the term biracial is a way for people to separate themselves from African Americans. This is true. But people who are biracial are not African American. Nor are they White. Or Asian. Or Latino. Or whatever other race they’re mixed with. They are biracial. Biracial is an identity all it’s own. read more

Does Race Really Matter?

Does race matter? It’s a question that was brought to me the other day. And in the midst of all that’s going on in America — the first black President in the White House, politicians remarking that black people were better off during slavery, celebrities using inappropriate and racially charged words — it’s a question that’s not out of place. So, does race matter?

I’m torn. Part of me wants to say that, no, race doesn’t matter. It shouldn’t matter. After all, race is a socially constructed concept with no real, inherently biological traits to distinguish any one person from any other person. Race is a category based on the society of which we’re a part at any given time. Race has changed over time, and indeed will continue to change as society itself changes. In other words, ultimately, it means nothing. read more